Are dating apps still a good way to find a relationship?
Between people’s busy schedules and the norm of using the internet to find love, dating apps became the main source to meet people. In a Forbes survey, it’s been shown that “online dating is still very popular, with nearly three in 10 U.S. adults saying they have used a dating site or app, and more than 40% stating that online dating has made dating easier for them.”
I used to be close friends with someone years ago that would use dating apps as a job — they went on four dates a week and sometimes, even booked two dates in one day (one in the AM, and the other in the evening).
I heard multiple success stories of couples getting married and met each other on a dating app. In that same Forbes survey, nearly 70% of individuals in 2023 who met someone on a dating app, said it led to a romantic, exclusive relationship, while 28% said it did not.
This generation thrives on the internet to the point that they depend on it for communication. So why wouldn’t dating apps be successful in this day in age?
But for some reason, dating apps feel harder to tolerate than usual.
Society adapted to algorithms and filters to the point that dating apps are supposed to truly cater to users — choosing the most compatible person for them. Hinge’s tagline, which used to be considered brilliant, is “this app is designed to be deleted.” But it’s meant to be deleted because it’s not useful.
An episode of The Tamron Hall Show pointed out how dating apps are just not working right now. A panel of dating experts discussed the pros and cons of dating. One of the cons mentioned was the inaccuracy of the algorithm.
Apparently the platform displays candidates that the user wouldn’t be interested in and lacks to show high compatible users. To word it politely, the app hides all the first choices and only shows the ‘maybes’. The observation isn’t to bash anyone, but to point out the fact that users aren’t connecting with people they expect to.
And you know why that is, of course? To make more money. The tagline is obviously to attract users, but Hinge depends on users to stay on the app. So, in order for people to actually match with users they’re fully compatible with, they have to pay. The fact that users have to pay, takes away the authenticity of the journey.
The possible reason for the lack of connection is the algorithm, but it could also be the fact that indviduals only have 4 pictures and 3 short answers to base their decisions off of. It’s not like speed dating, where you can see the person and hear how they explain things. In fact, the episode mentioned that speed dating may be a better method than dating apps.
Anyway, one of the panelists, Dejá Chanel mentioned that she swiped left for someone that she ended up bumping into, in person in a separate situation. He told Dejá Channel that he liked her on Hinge, and showed his profile for proof. She emphasized the reason she didn’t swipe right, which was the fact that he only had one or two photos. So his profile was hard to work with. However, once Dejá Channel had a conversation with him face to face, she became more interested in him.
Even though the Forbes article mentioned how successful the dating app is, I decided to do my own poll on Instagram and asked users how they met their spouse. I gave them the following options to choose from: dating app, mutual friend, school/work, and other. As a result, 35% of participants answered ‘mutual friend,’ and 30% responded ‘other.’ The dating option received 20%, which isn’t extremely low, but still didn’t represent the majority of participants.
The dating app experience was useful for me at a point. I’ve gotten a relationship from Tinder a few years ago, during the Pandemic. We were together for about 7 months.
But ever since then, it just seems to have gotten worse. For me, it’s difficult to be motivated to start or especially continue a conversation with someone I don’t know. The conversations are so generic and hard to work with for both ends. The “hey, how are you”s and weather conversations I just can’t deal with. Some users get creative with pickup lines to stand out, but we all know pickup lines just scream corny.
So now I continue to endure this toxic relationship I have with Hinge — deleting it because of the discouragement, but re-downloading because of the hope.
If dating apps aren’t working for ya, at least they’re other options. As mentioned, speed dating seems to be the way to go lately. There’s also other ways that were mentioned on the Good Day Philly After Show. Viewers took a poll asking what the best method is to meet someone besides dating apps. The results showed: 25% at a bar and 18% at a grocery store (even though I think a grocery store is rare, but you never know). Lastly, even joining a club, especially an active club, can be a great method. I recently saved a funny Instagram video of a girl joining a run club just to meet a guy.
How have your experiences been on dating apps?
